Stupidest things ever said

STUPIDEST THINGS EVER SAID

Todos nós, simples mortais, vez ou outra dizemos alguma bobagem, fazemos previsões sem pé nem cabeça, expomos nossas convicções sem nenhum fundamento lógico e passamos pela vida dando depoimentos cada qual mais ridículo.

A partir de hoje vou passar a mencionar falas tão grotescas que parecem fruto de espíritos sem noção da realidade. Para tanto, vou me valer de um livrinho chamado ‘The 776 Stupidest things ever said’, de Ross and Kathryn Petras, publicado pela Doubleday em abril de 1993.

1.       Ron Fairly: Bruce Sutter has been around for a while and he’s pretty old. He’s thirty-five years old That will give you some idea of how oold he is.

2.       Barry Beck: And what is more, I agree with everything I have just said.  

3.        Barry Beck: We have only oe person to blame, and that’s each other.

4.       A chairman of the board: I suppose you think that on our board half the directors do the wurk and the other half do nothing. As a matter of factt, gentlemen, the reverse is the case,

5.       Danny Ozark: Mike Andrews’ limits are limitless.

6.       Louis Nell: We do not have censorship. What we have is a limitation on what newspapers can report.       

7.       Joyce Kitira: The boys never meant any harm against the girls. They just meant to rape.

8.       Elliot Abrams: I never said I had no idea about most of the things you said I said I had no idea about.

9.       John Bowman: If crime went down 100%, it would still be fifty times higher than it should be.

10.   Sir Boyle: While I write this letter, I have a pistol in one hand and a sword in the other.   

11.      Sir Boyle: I answer in the affirmative with an emphatic”No.”

12.   Illinois Department of Public Aid: Beginning in February 1976 your assistance benefits will be discontinued. Reason: it has been reported to our office that you expired on January 1, 1976.

13.   Samuel Goldwyn: They always bite the hand that lays the golden egg.

14.   Samuel Polatnik: There were allegations anumber of students at schoolsin Brookllin may have been involvedin having some knowledge, particularly about socialstudieds and possibly English.

15.   Yogi Berra: We made too many wrong mistakes.

16.   Milwaukee Brewers Jim Gantner, when he forgot to appear on a talk show: I must have had ambrosia.

17.        Samuel Goldwyn: Shut up! When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.

18.   Johnny Walker, world middleweight wrist-wresting champion: It’s about 90% strength and 40% technique.

19.   White House photographer David Hume Kennedy: The good news is the war is over. The bad news is we lost.

20.   Revised state code for the Department of Consumer Affairs, California: Tenses, Gender, and Number: For the purpose of the rules and regulations contained in this chapter, the present tense includeds the past and future tenses, and the future, the present; the masculine gender includes the feminine, and the feminine, the masculine, and the singular incluides the plural, and the plural the singular.