When I come to think about the
thousands of lessons I taught throughout my life, I find it difficult to mention
anything worth remembering.
As a student I was lucky
enough to have teachers who really made a difference and impressed me deeply,
and I still think of them with affection. They did help me mold my personality
both as a man and as a teacher. I pay my compliments to them and am very
grateful for everything they taught me.
I wonder if any of my former students
still remember anything good or bad, remarkable or embarrassing, or anything at
all that I, either on purpose or unintentionally, said while teaching
prepositions, phrasal verbs or relative pronouns.
1.
Well, the very first thing that comes to my
mind is what I once told my 3rd year students on their last day at school. When
I got into the classroom, I saw that most of them were wearing costumes. Some
boys were dressed as girls, some girls had fake moustaches on their faces, a
couple of kids were in pyjamas. I looked at them silently for a few seconds,
and calmy said, “In the twenty or so years that I’ve been working here, this
school has changed a lot. Well, I haven’t. So I refuse to teach you while you
guys look like that. Please leave the room, go to the toilets and change your
clothes. You may come back here, if you feel like it.
2.
For about ten or twelve years I had the
privilege of taking groups of students for
an English summer course in July in England. The first evening we went to a
disco, I saw one of ‘my girls’ kissing a boy. So soon? Well, I went up to them,
said “Excuse me” to the boy, took the girl aside and told her – in Portuguese
- she had come to England to practice
the English language, not the English tongue, if you know what I mean. I felt
awful after that. So did she. Sorry, girl.
3.
One Friday afternoon I was supposed to give a
quiz to a 7th grade class. It was the last lesson of the day, and I would not
be able to be there to watch the kids. Obviously, there was no one available to
cover me. Well, on Wednesday I told them they would take the quiz without
anyone watching them. The secretary would hand out the quiz to them, and when
the bell rang the secretary would go back to the classroom and collect their
quizzes. They all got excellent marks, which I accepted without any questioning.
Not for one moment did I ever doubt their honesty. And I still believe they did
not cheat.
4.
As far as cheating is concerned, this is what I
used to say to my students: “Cheating offends me to the core. Cheating means
the cheater despises me or my lessons so completely that he or she doesn’t
bother to study hard for my tests. Well, if any of you cheat and I don’t see
it, good for you. But if I ever catch you in the act, not only will you get a
zero, but I can promise you I will never forget it.” It did sound like a
threat, didn’t it? But it’s true. Even after so many years, I can still
remember a few shameful faces.
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